Thursday, July 24, 2008

Gifts and Emotions


Many times in our lives it takes great tragedy or other life changing events to break us out of our shell, to stir up those emotions held deep inside, to get in touch with our spiritual grace, to reach out and touch the Hand of God.

As I have said most people cry for help when they are in these emotional lows. When all else has failed you in life where do you go, what do you do and to what extent is that “spiritual” side of your being there to help you thru the trials. I have had numerous episodes of grief and despair in my life. Many of those close to me know these stories. Stories that have been a part of me my whole life. Stories that mirror many of your own stories. I call them stories but they are not fictional, they are in fact, fact. And these factual stories have shaped you and those around you in ways you never consider when they happen….but in reflection you eventually realize how much of an important part of your life they were, are and will be.

Three such incidents in my life shook me to the core and released emotions in me that I knew were there, but hadn’t learned to not only understand them but control them. This control is the key. Many people have a talented and gifted spirit dwelling in them. Many have demon spirits controlling their words and actions. But the vast majority of us are pure and wholesome at heart and when these “emotions” hit us our soul comforts us and we eventually come back to reality.

But what happens when a “spirit”, being good or bad, being one or many, is released from its’ shell like a cocoon to a butterfly. Well, depending on the words and actions played out by the spirit thru the movements of the body and the perceptions of the mind, the outcome can be tragic or blessed and heart felt. Those whose spirit moves them to crime (murder, rape, incest, immorality, hate and jealousy) end up dead, in jail or in some way “chained” for their transgressions which were caused by the lack of control of the spirit and demon(s) inside them. On the other hand when the mind is open, the heart is pure and the body is healthy your soul is enriched by the “emotion” and your spirit gains in the experience and memory delivered by the Hand of God, the Love of Christ and the
Holy Ghost moving in the Spirit.


When Stevie Ray Vaughn passed I felt my soul want to crawl in a dark place and weep the torment of my spirit. When my best friend in life and mentor Mike Phillips passed in his prime I was moved to such emotion I could not deliver a proper eulogy. When my wife left for a summer vacation and never came back in 2005 my heart, mind, body, soul and spirit were shaken to such depths I can not begin to describe.

As those who know me will testify on my behalf, all my actions over the past  years although not always understood, were heartfelt and wholesome, with at no time a vision to hurt any one else emotionally or harm physically. On the contrary they will be my witness’s that my reflection was back to the spirit, the enrichment of not only my soul but the soul of any and all I ever came in contact with. To this I am most grateful to the Lord for. For I know the prisons and asylums are full of individuals who lost control of their spirit, logic lapses & emotions take over & they act out in some form of aggression or insanity that causes their incarceration.

We all know about prisons and asylums. But what we don’t all know about is the good that can come out of events in our life we categorize as tragic and life changing. By the Grace of God our creativities, our nature walk, our dealings with our fellow man and our outlook on life changes and we become a changed person that may very well be someone more in kin to the person you always wanted to be and had dreams of since the day you were born. My “episodes” have always resulted in an inner finding and an outward searching to understand this power inside me that controls your thoughts, your words and your actions. I become much more creative in art, music and word. I am closer to nature and the animal kingdom than even my dreams hinted at thru my life.

And now, now, I have reached deep for the “magic” my spirit offers me. I perceive and understand things I never even considered before. I am doing things physically I seen in my past in fleeting shots of glory…but now they are constant and consistent.

The Lord has blessed me in ways that are worth more than any amount of money in any bank account. For I know that if I lose it all…I will always have the gift of the Sprit my Lord has touched me with…and finally…finally…showed me how to control it and use it to teach others His Ways so one day we will all walk and talk like He would’ve and how He expects us to walk and talk. Now and in the future.

Over the past years I have done my homework. I have not spent time reading “mans” word but rather Gods’ Word. I have watched endless hours of spiritual, nature and educational shows on TV. I have listened to 1000’s of hours of various types of music and I have prayed….Oh Lord how I’ve prayed…for the deliverance of this enrichment in the ultimate goal to help my fellow man and serve my Master and Lord.

I am there…I have never been more in touch and in tune with this “gift” than ever before in my life, but I sense there’s so much more to learn, share & experience to continue reaching for my dreams.  It is so cool at times I amaze my self, but I smile & thank the Lord for the moment.  When time & nature come together & the “magic” truly happens…I reflect and thank my God for I know without the guidance of the Spirit and the Love of Christ and the prayers of the faithful…none of this would be possible and therefore would never happen.

Thank God this “gift” has not been wasted, cut down, left uncontrolled, or taken by itself. It is a wonderful time in our history to learn, understand, use and teach these “gifts” that are in you just like they are in me. Oh people if only you could experience it on a consistent basis for even one day…your life would never be the same again.

I pray you are blessed to find it…it is the greatest gift you will ever receive…for once opened it is cherished, never forgotten and held close to the heart.

Go in Peace and those that hate will fade into the abyss. Much Love and Happiness especially to all the mothers out there. You pain in our birth, so we can ease that pain thru out our lives. Make your mother proud…she is an important part of your climb thru this life and onto the Heavens. May His blessings be your blessings now and forever more. With Love & Peace…..Bryan 🐝

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